I founded “Veterans Counseling Veterans INC with the idea that we should be taking care of each other. I have spent 44 years of my 53 years in a military culture (Dependent and soldier). My rebrand/rebirth began in 2007, that means I am only 9 years old as a civilian. I stubbornly try to hang on to what I’ve learned even it doesn’t fit in my ‘new” real world.

Whenever you go on a long patrol, every now and then you have to stop, take a break and check your azimuth. The key is knowing when to take that break. You want to take it before you get too far off your path or you will have to double back and reshoot your azimuth. I digress, I will write another article about reorientation.

This article is about veterans taking care of veterans. It is only a matter of time and circumstance before you are either being carried or doing the carrying. Whatever the role you play, realize it is only temporary and normal.

What’s the biggest difference from being a service member and being a civilian? Veterans are taught to be a “Collective entity”, civilians are taught to be an “Individual entity”. The main purpose of basic training is to strip you of your individuality and replace it with “collectivism”. Metaphorically, we strip the floor before we wax it, to remove any of the old wax (life experience) that was applied in your civilian world. Sometimes we don’t get all of the old wax or dirt off and it becomes embedded on the new look. Unless you redo the stripping, that old wax will every now and then reflect back on an otherwise “shiny floor”.

The problem is when we transition back into civilian life, we didn’t take the time to “strip the old wax before we reapplied the “new wax”. That only causes confusion as we try to navigate our way on this new path.

Take a moment to reflect back and identify when or how many times did you help a veteran or his/her family and put them on your back. As you reflect, identify when someone carried you on their back.

I chose to start Veterans Counseling Veterans as a nonprofit, because I felt if you have to get paid to do this then you are not really in it for the right reason. Being in it for the right reason is critical if you are going to provide counseling and support. I know, I know, you need money to survive. I got that, but some of the most valuable lessons and opportunities are free. Do you appreciate someone more if you know they are doing it because it is their job or because they are doing it because they “care”. I know for most people, my question is a false choice. For some it may be, but there are others where it is a true choice. It requires you to be true to yourself before you answer it.

I am at that point on my patrol, where I have to take a knee, look around, drink some water and reorient my compass, check my map, readjust my load bearing equipment and then soldier on. My mission, to find a veteran to carry on my shoulder and then move out! Where are you on your patrol? When the last time you took a break, reoriented yourself using your map and compass? Are you carrying someone or being carried? Either way, I hope it’s a veteran who is involved.